Can't do this.

Its summer. I thought bout summer 2013 forever now and how amazing it will be. But it's not... I just feel like ending everything. My mom and dad don't help me. They make me stay home and don't let me do anything. I wanna hang out with friends that's it but they won't... So what do I do just stay in my room listen to music. Or I walk by myself. I'm alone everytime I stay home. When I go outside my dad said you shouldn't be wearing shorts. Why because I'm fat. Thank you dad ill just stop eating for a couple days or weeks... I really need to lose weight I am getting fat I want to be back to 90 lbs instead 110lbs. I hate myself that I'm letting myself weigh more then 100 trust me dad you don't need to remind me everyday... Mostly every night he says something that I just ball my eyes out too... and my mom just sits there and does nothing... sometimes I wonder if their life would be easier without me.. if I just go away forever...  Sometimes I wish that my sister didn't stop me from suicide in seventh grade... I just don't know what to do... they're getting worse and worse and I'm getting more depressed. I lie to the people I love saying nothing wrongs because I don't want them to say sorry. I hate when people are sorry for me. If they read this then they'll know how I feel if they don't then they'll just keep wondering... I just feel like giving up I'm not strong as people think I am I have fresh cuts.. I feel like if that one person knew that I still cut it'll change his mind about me and he'll leave.. Trust me him and my best friend are the two that are actually keeping me alive right now.. I don't want to lose them... but I gotta tell him I still cut I can't keep it from him... I just don't know how too... I'm just a teenager I shouldn't be this depressed... I'm lost and its dark and I'm losing from suicide...